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| Dave Choat |
Diamondraught, a clear, potent liquor weighing in at over 150 proof, is a peculiarly dwarvish drink. Brought out only on special occasions, and served neat in small cups, it is designed to get a dwarf drunk as quickly and efficiently as possible.
Its beginnings are innocent enough, as it can be made from plums, apples, sugar beets -- whatever a dwarf might have to hand that is naturally sweet. Potatos can be used in a pinch. In Eaglesreach raw sugar or honey is customary. The initial fermentation proceeds much as expected. It is in the refining and distilling that the real magic happens.
As is true of most mechanical devices, a still can only be improved by the attentions of a dwarf. The intricate metal coils, burnished to a high gloss; the pots of mash, steaming gently in the cool cavern air; the glass containers with their precious cargo -- all these gladden the heart of a true craftsman. The refining process holds few mysteries to a dwarf. Indeed, the biggest problem is in getting him to stop before the diamondraught becomes fit only for dissolving rogue patches of brown slime or blue mold. One such batch, inadvertently stored too close to an open flame, caused the explosion and subsequent cave-in of Stone's Heart Mine (gallery 12, shaft 27, sublevel 2) in 937. "Now that's a proper 937" is still sometimes applied to an especially powerful vintage.
After the 937 incident, diamondraught has never been stored in containers much larger than a firkin. In Eaglesreach, it is traditionally kept in thin-necked glass globes, ranging in color from pale yellow to deep amber. These hold about a quart. Since they do not have a flat bottom, they must be stored in wire racks. When a bottle is brought out for a party, it cannot be set down until it is empty, which contributes to both the speed of consumption and the resultant drunkenness. When empty, the bottles can be turned upside down and balanced on their necks. This can be a precarious operation, depending on the neck length, made even more so when set on a random piece of dwarven anatomy. "Let's have a couple of long-necks!" signals the beginning of a serious drinking competition.
Diamondraught is primarily an amateur concern, but there are a few well-known labels. "Orc Bane" and "Liquid Hammer" (motto: "Cures the sobers") represent the less sophisticated end of the spectrum, while "Dunethoin's Secret" and "Adalgrim's Own" are much more potent and rare. "Mithril Tears", served in the king's household, is stored in real mithril containers, and reputedly has a kick like an umber hulk. It is of great use during delicate negotiations, as it is considered impolite to refuse any refreshment the king might offer.