The office is empty and quiet. Dust motes drift silently in the late afternoon sunlight, which streams through an improbably high window set above the bookcases on the wall opposite the door. A large potted palm, bearing a small tag that reads "Thanks so much for your help! -- Novalis" sits beside the desk.
The doctor enters, setting the dust motes dancing. He reaches into the middle desk drawer, takes out a flask, and very deliberately pours its contents onto the plant, muttering an apology as he does so. After replacing the flask, he speaks aloud.
Doctor: "Miss Marian? Please send Shilom in now." As the Mercurian enters, he moves to greet her. "Shilom, I must apologize for my behavior last time. I was terribly rude."
Shilom: "Oh, there's nothing to apologize for, I took no notice. But there is something I wish to clear up. I fear that I may have left you with a false impression at the end of our last session. It's true that I loved Asmodeus, of course I love all of the Lord's creations, but I admit that my feelings for Asmodeus were stronger then that. But I must emphasize the word 'were'. When he fell, and tried to talk me into joining him, my feelings radically changed. I felt betrayed. At first, I was disappointed that I was not chosen to be one of the first of the Malakim. I wanted to hunt him and his followers down and remove them from the sight of God. Fortunately it didn't take long for me to realize that was not my role in the symphony. God... and Uriel, created me for a different, and equally important purpose. In time I also realized that Asmodeus really didn't betray me, or Dominic so much as himself and God. I rarely think about him anymore."
Doctor: "Ah, a very healthy attitude. Please, sit down. It is more relaxed that way, yes?" Sits down and waits as Shilom does the same. "Now, I have been doing a little research since we last talked. Your relationship with, ahem, Asmodeus must have ended about 25,000 years ago, at the time of the Fall. When that happened, did you continue to work on Earth?"
Shilom: "Yes, of course. I'm a Mercurian, I'm best at working with humans. There was still elemental influences around the Ubangi that needed to be routed. The war didn't change that. It only changed the way we worked. We had to be less out in the open. We really got into taking on roles. The Seraphim didn't like that so much. They stayed upstairs more. But I loved it. Actually living amongst the humans, staying in the role for its entire life, really helped me understand humans. I saw both the good and the bad side of humanity, and I saw first hand the human potential. Yes... all of my assignments have been on Earth." Shilom pauses, and then adds very quickly, "Except for the Purity Crusade. Uriel had everyone working on that."
Doctor: "We will come to that. Now, let me see..." Flips through a small notebook. "You must have come into contact with Ethereals before the, ah, Crusade began. I know it must be painful, but please try to recall some of those times. Remember that this is all long, long ago, it cannot hurt you now. And it may help you with your present troubles."
Shilom: "Okay, I'll try." Shilom bites her lip, then begins in a soft voice. "The first time I ever encountered an Ethereal was on my first assignment on Earth. I told a bit about it last session. Back then, before the Fall, many of our assignments were to remove Ethereal influences from human society. I would work with the humans to try to steer them to a more enlightened path, and others would kill or drive the Ethereal off into the Marches. As I was saying my first assignment was in a seasonal camp along the Ubangi. Yves had learned that the people there were becoming devoted to some sort of Ethereal power, and he and some of the other Archangels put together a team of new angels, led by..." pause "Dominic's lieutenant, to investigate. I think that they thought it would be an easy mission, sort of a learning experience for us. Before the Fall we often didn't try to blend in with the humans. We didn't use roles like we do now. There was a lot more 'Behold, I am the angel Shilom, come to scare the shit out of you' sort of approach. Except by that time, some of the humans had caught on to us. We'd show up, force them away from their local demi-gods, then go back to Heaven and leave them on their own. Apparently this group of humans had encountered angels before. They worked hard to keep their Ethereal a secret. We tried being real nice to them, we tried scaring them, we tried infiltrating them (well, I tried, but I really didn't know how to then), we even tried to follow them when they went to make their offerings. But they knew what, ahem, Dominic's lieutenant would do to whomever it was that they were worshipping when we found it. Gaash, Janus' Cherub, spend hours searching the surrounding woodlands, but never found a shrine, or anything. The others started talking about bringing the wrath of God upon them, i.e. killing the villagers.
"One day, shortly after my failed attempt to infiltrate their group, As... mumble ... and I took some time off and went for a walk in the woods. You're my doctor, I should be able to tell you these things... We were looking for a place where we could be alone so we could make love. Not far from the village, we found this really beautiful glen, next to a brook. It was very quiet, just the sound of the stream flowing over some rocks. We were kinda distracted with each other and didn't notice we had company. It was a water spirit. By the way, they can still be found on Earth, if you know where to look. They're even worshipped still, in some places. Anyway, I don't know how long it watched us, but eventually we saw it. We'd found our Ethereal influence, or it had found us. It didn't know the human's language, but it knew Celestial. It told us how it has saved a boy from drowning, and ever since then the people brought it offerings, food, beads, you know. It repaid those gifts by doing small healings, and keeping the stream from flooding. I tried to explain to it that it was hurting the people of the village by encouraging them to worship a false god. It didn't understand, it wasn't all that bright. I do know that all it wanted to do was to help the people that were being nice to it. I could understand that. As... Asmodeus wanted to kill it, after all it was opposing the Lord... It could sense Asmodeus' anger, maybe it was an empath. I was able to make it understand that we would try to kill it, and maybe kill the villagers if it didn't leave. I don't know if it went back into the Marches, or to somewhere else on Earth.
"That was my first encounter with an Ethereal. Most of the time though it was obvious that they were not doing the people any good."
Doctor: "So you and, ahem, Asmodeus let it go? Interesting. Were you not worried that it would come back after your team had gone?"
Shilom: In an accusatory tone, "It left, okay?" Her voice rising, she continues. "It left, it went away!"
Doctor: Soothingly "Yes, yes, it went away. But why does that upset you so? Surely you must have been pleased at the success of your mission? You were a new angel, and it was your first time on earth. Did you not feel joy in your accomplishment?"
Shilom: Softly, "Joy... joy...? I.." and louder again, "No, we finished our job and we went home. End of story. You tell me Doctor, why should I feel joy over taking away something that was helping people, even if it was a pagan spirit?"
Doctor: "Shilom, in my profession, I have seen that humans sometimes want things that are not good for them. A child may want to, to hold a candle flame, or to eat chocolate all day long. These humans, they are your children, yes? You must keep them from eating too much chocolate. He chuckles. Yes, yes, chocolate, exactly! And you and Asmodeus put the chocolate away in a safe place, so that they would have to eat their broccoli, and grow strong in the Lord. You see? And that is something to be proud of, though they may not thank you for it. Now, let us move on -- Shilom, why are you crying?"
Shilom: Her eyes turning red, shining with welling tears, she replies in a tiny voice. "He... he killed it, didn't he? ... I knew that. I've known it for twenty five millennia. Why... why?"
Doctor: "What? He -- oh dear. After -- after it had agreed to go?"
Shilom: Still sobbing, Shilom whispers, "I was the one who talked it into leaving. It took a long time for me to get through to it. It couldn't talk. But I know I got through. Asmodeus was tired of waiting, I guess. Asmodeus means Destroyer of those who oppose the Lord. By existing, it opposed God's will, he said. I don't know. I felt bad about it, but not this bad. Why couldn't I remember?"
Doctor: "Here you are, my dear." Hands her the tissues. "You did not remember because you did not want to. Forgetfulness can be a blessing, it can protect us from physical pain, and also feelings of loss or guilt or unhappiness. How do you feel about that little water spirit now, Shilom?"
Shilom: "I guess I'm sad that it is dead. I always was. Lately I just didn't remember that I was. It's not like it was an infernal trying to undo His good works, was it Doctor? Even if that was what it was doing, it wasn't doing it on purpose. It was allowing people to worship it, that was wrong, I know. But we could have stopped that without killing it I think. Even water spirits are God's creatures, right?"
Doctor: "Yes, yes, I think they must be. I have often thought that Uriel was perhaps a bit too, ah, overzealous." He coughs and shifts uncomfortably in his chair. "But of course that is only my opinion. Now, I want you to think about this, Shilom. You were a very young angel then, very young. And you were involved with an older and wiser member of the Host. And then he did something that upset you, yes? Probably much more than you realized at the time -- you Mercurians are such sensitive creatures. And just a few years later -- "
Shilom: Speaking softly to herself "So that means..." And then more animated she interrupts the Doctor. "Wait... So that means I was right! Or at least true to my choir, or whatever. I was right to doubt him then... and... and look what eventually happened to him. And maybe even I was right later too...? Uriel was... Doc, this has been... helpful. But I think I need some time to sort things out."
Doctor: "Yes, I agree." Rising from his chair. "You will be returning to Earth soon, so Dominic tells me. He will be pleased to hear of your excellent progress. Do come and visit me again, Shilom, when you have the time. I would be most happy, yes, most happy to talk with you again." Shilom nods. " Let me walk you out. You are going back to New York City, yes? I remember a little restaurant there that used to serve the most wonderful sacher torten..."
The door closes behind them softly. All is quiet, except for the rustling of the potted palm as it turns its leaves more fully towards the dimming light.