Changed my life, I tell ya'. Changed my life completely. I used to just sit around watching TV. I was living in this run down apartment building, getting fat, getting high, getting nowhere.
One day I was doing just that, watching TV, minding my own business. I look up and what do I see? Fire! All around me! Above my head! Circling me! And it talked to me!
It said, "Behold! You have been chosen to defeat the Anti-Christ! Ever since your childhood you have been chosen!"
It told me I had to help find this drug-dealer named Bingo. I knew the guy, once, he used to live in the apartment I was in. It asked me all about Bingo and called him a dog. A lowly, mangy, evil kinda dog.
But I was cool, I handled it. It went away... well, through the ceiling actually. And it left me alone after that.
But then the strangest thing happened. This guy, I think it was a guy, shows up at my door and says he had a vision. He says this fire told him about Bingo, too! Now, okay, this next part is pretty weird, but he wants Bingo's stuff. Now, I don't have any of Bingo's things because I threw them out a long time ago. I did have this one rag though, used to be a pair of underwear, and the guy wants it. Underwear! Okay, fine, I let the guy have it, I figure it must have been part of a greater plan.
Now, I haven't heard much about it since then, and nobody's heard from Bingo either. Somebody told me the wrath of God must have come down on that poor bastard, something about a burning bed and broken windows and something about his teeth. What was it now? Oh yeah, they would have to identify him by his dental records if they ever found him. Something like that.
Ever since that night I've cleaned up a bit. I figure I got a mission now. A mission to defeat the Anti-Christ. I'm training for it right now. Going to church, reading up on my Bible, exercising, losing weight, and staying off the booze. I've been clean and sober for 5 months so far and I plan to stay that way. Been volunteering at the rehab clinic, too. I tell people that come in what happened to Bingo and it makes them think. Either that or they call me crazy and say I must have been high, but most get the message.
Anyway, I'm heading over that way now. Listen, if you want I can give you a ride, show you around the place, and if you want you can talk to a counselor or something if you want to get started. At the very least you can get out from under this overpass and get something to eat. Whad'ya say?